Want to transform life’s daily annoyances into a hotter YOU?
If you inhabit Planet Earth, like the rest of us, you’ll find it easy to master this new, innovative exercise regimen.
The science of body shaping in a world filled with stressful hassles can now be fast, fun and easy. This instructive guide fits into your daily, natural routine and requires no change in diet or any need to purchase costly equipment. It’s absolutely free!

*The following exercises are broken down by muscle group. *Results may vary.*

Get ready to be smokin’ hot…

FACE

Our faces contain the collection of muscle tissue that everyone remembers most.
Make sure to do this particular one as often as possible.
First Step: Anything you see, hear or smell that you dislike, scrunch up your face. A look of disgust flexes countless facial sinews. But be careful, overuse of this exercise could cause early onset wrinkles and make you look like a gross loser. Luckily Botox isn’t as expensive as it used to be.
WORK IT OUT: Contort your face into the following ->1.) Scowl of confusion. 2.) The I’ll-murder-you-dead snarl. 3.) The I’m-going-to-destroy-the-world grimace.
For best results do all three in succession. Splitting this routine into separate sets throughout the day will work as well. 3 Reps of each daily

NECK

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Our necks flab tremendously with old age. To prevent such a rude attack on our vanity, known as ‘turkey neck,’ perform this with utmost care.
First Step: Oscillate properly by learning the precision of contorting your head and neck in an askance fashion. Do this vigorously if expressing disbelief, if desperate to avoid staring at a gross loser or while engaging in any aversion you deem necessary.
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WORK IT OUT: -> 1.)Turn to the left or right depending on which side of you the visual offender lurks. 2.) Move the neck back and forth while being befuddled or disagreeing. 3.) Glance upwards, towards the sky when it’s spiritual. 4.) Tilt down, towards the ground when hiding your lies or feeling insecure.
All of these also work wonders if a friend asks to borrow money or the neighbor tries bending your ear, yet again, with boring neighborly nonsense. The more you avoid, the stronger your neck. 6 Reps daily

SHOULDERS

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Create flexibility in this trio of muscles; deltoid, subscapularis and infraspinatus. Ignore the big scary medical terms and focus only on fit shoulders, which leads to stronger chests, adding buoyancy to the breasts and moobs. Certain romantic acts require solid deltoids for elevation. Letting this area go slack can restrict lovemaking to a prone position. The prone position is also known as, “Let’s hurry and get this over with.”
First Step: Master the fast reaction by posturing quickly when asked to do anything you don’t want to do such as refusing to answer a tough question, or if touched by a gross loser.
WORK IT OUT: -> 1.) Tense up. 2.) Recoil. 3.) Shrug. 4.) Release.
3 Reps, four times a week.

ARMS

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Keeping these limbs tight will prevent the jiggly flab often seen when chubsters wave hello or goodbye to various people they are pretending to like. An ability to flex this area allows a wide range of possibilities even when not used in this holistic hostility regimen.
First Step: focus on both your biceps and triceps.
WORK IT OUT: -> 1.) Elbow push in the gut or face of those who crowd you. 2.) Violently shut the curtains to keep out ogling neighbors *or roll up a car window to prevent lost idiots from asking for directions.* 3.) Flap your arms like a chicken when someone reveals themselves as weak. 4.) Wave your arms in the air frantically to prevent a friend from talking to a gross loser.

Each can be done separately but is best done consecutively for greater benefit. All of these movements also strengthen your shoulders. 8 Reps, weekly.

FINGERS

Many people forget to work on these joints. Without fingers our hands would be worthless, so keep in mind the importance of these digits.
First Step: Gather all 10 fingers in one place. Try to add wrist action when you can. Adding in arms is optional.
WORK IT OUT: -> 1.) Cross your fingers behind your back when lying. *This prevents it from being a lie.* 2.) Give a thumbs-up to people who fall, say the wrong word or embarrass themselves in any way. 3.) Flip the bird at gross losers. 4.) Wag your finger at liars, bastards, and anyone who fails at achieving their goals, or dummies who disagree with your genius.

Flipping the bird and the shame-on-you finger wag are best done by adding profanity. A verbal addition can strengthen the jaw if said with proper force through gritted teeth.
12 Reps, for each hand, weekly.

BUTTOCKS

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Tighten the gluteus maximus while saving yourself from embarrassing sound pollution and odiferous assault on the unlucky people nearest you. A tight rump looks good in jeans which is flattering to both sexes. Please note: No one wants to smell the burrito you ate, plus methane contributes to the gaping brown hole in the ozone layer. Do your end to stop global warming.
First Step: Practice this one at home before attempting it in public. Failure to master this exercise will make people think you’re a gross loser.
WORK IT OUT: -> 1.) Squeeze in. 2.) Clench. 3.) Release when coast is clear.
If you have more than 2 reps a day of this exercise, Ask Your Doctor to prescribe a remedy in pill or liquid form. 0 Reps, if possible.

[ Please add your thoughts in the comment section below! And if you have additional exercises to share please post them as well.
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Tagged as: aggression, civility, exercise, Health, work out