Step Into The Twitter Time Machine

by Ct Kingston · View Comments

TwitterBird_TimeMachineI had a thought today — yes sometimes it accidentally happens. That thought was about Twitter. What would I have tweeted if Twitter was around well before 2006, up and running by the time I learned to walk and talk and ask “Why? Why? Why?” Asked over and over because that is what kids do, as soon as they learn it’s a powerful question forcing their parents into speaking to them. #Cool

All right, so, my noggin’ was havin’ all kinda thoughts about my own personal Twitter Time Machine. There have already been a bevy of articles written re: “What if Twitter had been around [fill in the blank]. But all I’ve ever seen of these pieces focuses on a historical/ famous figure’s possible tweet out. Sure, Mark Twain was awesome, but c’mon, I’m way more interested in what you would have said, back in the day.

Of course when we were learning to speak, let alone type, there was no internet, but let’s not be sticklers for the facts. Facts can be boring sometimes. Just go with me here…

I’m sure being a naked fat-head as my mother snaps pics probably pissed me off and would have spawned a slew of tweets. Incoherent baby babble ones, sure, but we’ve seen that before.
Later, yeah, I imagine I’d have bragged about my first time, it’s never as good as the first time…

“WOW!!!! Just got my FIRST bra! How many tissues should I stuff in it?”

And of course there would be a rant over getting fired from that fast food job as a teen.

“I hate McDonalds! They suck! I didn’t spit in the food, I only pretended to!”

What tweets do you think you would have posted? Or wished you hadn’t, but know damn well you would have? Perhaps tweets that would embarrass you for years to come as you grew older and wiser and your vocabulary expanded beyond the words, “Dada” and “Mama” into “I’m refinancing my mortgage today, right after I sign the divorce papers.”
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Tagged as: Historical, Social Networks, Time Machine, Tweets, Twitter

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  • Hey Tina, Congrats for that kinky funky plug on The Daily Sexy.

    Here's my comment:

    Congrats! You have awarded The Daily Sexy to the perfect person. (But I guess you already knew that!) And you are so right about her writing… At first it makes you burst out laughing, then it makes you think. And her spin, as you say, is pretty darn original.

    Tina, you like to shoot chairs…? Hm, if you dream about them it’s supposed to signify your obsession with where you stand in society, family, at work, school… If someone is sitting in your chair, it means they’re taking over or you think they are. If you’re sitting in someone else’s chair, it means you need to be more considerate of their feelings. But seeing as you just like to take pictures of them, this might all be irrelevant. So… To The Hot Dog!

    LOVE the picture. Just like your writing, your photos provoke laughter but then you realize beneath the comic, lies layer upon layer of rare and intricate originality. Thank You!
  • You know what I'm thankful for? The fact that twitter only stores your last 3,000 tweets* on the internets. So for the particularly mentally-diarrhea-prone amongst us, it means that the more you tweet, the more of the things you shouldn't have written in the past are deleted.

    I mean, if indeed I was a wee youngster and tweeting away ridiculous things, it's a good thing to know that those things would have all disappeared by now.

    What would I have tweeted? Something along the lines of, "Astro Boy is the best!!" And that's just last week...

    Ct/Tina/Christina, I really need to visit here more often. I notice that when I've been away.

    -- mookie aka @ASternWarning

    * I think that number is correct -- it was last time I sat down and counted them.
  • Mookie, really...Twitter only stores 3,oo0? I didn't know that. I think on twittersearch.com they only store 2 days worth.
    You're right, that probably is best!
    I want to see your Astro Boy tweets!
    You should visit more often, I get a kick out your thoughts, as you know.
  • lipdesign
    This is such an awesome post, Tina!

    CD's nor computers were around during my youth ... (old) ... However, thinking waaaaaay back (I'll not bother posting first time since it was rather uneventful):
    Mom + I had "the talk". Will never let anyone do THAT to me #gross
    For once would I love to see Jan b*tch slap Marcia #bradybunch
    OMG, just saw David Cassidy in concert. He wore orange jumpsuit w/ fringe. HATE Mom (made me wear dorky Easter dress)
    HOLY S**T! My DAD first to notice I got my period. UGH!!! #loser #keeplegsclosedwhengettingoutofbed
    Bee Gees at New Haven Coliseum. Barry Gibb's manhood visible from 200th row. Annoying screaming fans *eyeroll*
    I want to be Rhoda. Mary is overrated.
    I now have same haircut as Joyce DeWitt #3sCompany
    RIP John Lennon. Don't feel like studying for finals now #johnlennonshot
    We have cable! Anyone watch MTV? #iwantmymtv

    I deleted a bunch more ... what a cathartic exercise. I had fun. Obviously.
  • Ha, love the good word, doll, thanks!
    Ewwww sorry it was your Pops who discovered your 'cycle' first. Oh no!
    Barry Gibb's manhood must of been enormous. I'm going to look into that ;-)
    I love Mary, Rhoda too, wish they were on Twitter.
    John Lennon's death would have been so talked about the site ...crash, Fail Whale, I can imagine
    sad tweets happening for many weeks.
    Cable... wow... I feel I had it my whole life, but as soon as I got my own apartment I skipped buying a TV.
    Everyone who visited me were angry they couldn't see sports games or tv shows... oops.
    You'd be a hoot back in the day... as you are now.
  • lipdesign
    I swear I did burlesque comedy in former life. Carried it with me in this life. :)
    Google photos of late 1970s Barry Gibb or Bee Gees; those white pants tell all! Seriously.

    I didn't have TV for a long time in my apt, either. We are kindred spirits. ;)
  • As a child, I was stoic and studious. In fact, my mother had to remind me to have fun. Perhaps this is the reason my tweets, as an adult, are quirky and playful. I don't know why I was so serious as a kid. There were many times my parents tried prodding me towards recreation. My umbrella answer was, "Not now Mum, I'm reading something important." I'm glad that I've changed. Adulthood has taught me that life is too short not to laugh, love and embrace life. Speculating what I would tweet if I could go back in time?

    "I wish boys knew what menstrual cramps felt like."
  • Nong, hello...So basically you were a lot older then, than now and that reversal of fortune is admirable.
    Life is definitely too short for constant seriousness... The laughter can get us through the worst
    of it... too bad they can't sell laughter in a pill form. It'd be great to have during the times
    we feel it's too hard to crack a smile.
  • Well I'm SURE I would have tweeted about that _first time_ (and blogged about it in my very first online journal entry) - I documented it in writing, in a folder, and left it under my desk at school. Yeah, so 140 would have been less embarrassing and would have went something like this:

    OMG. wtf. My mom knew. All bc I did my own laundry. DO NOT DO LAUNDRY (if you seldom do) especially sheets. Dead giveaway.

    Love this, Tina. :) I wish we lived closer.
  • Ha, I bet you would have been one of the first people to have an 'online journal' -You Trendsetter!
    But if it was only private and under a desk at school... maybe one of the boys would have stolen it. haha

    The sheets? o and m and g... Krys, wooooooooo... wild.
    I wish we lived closer too. We could dish all day and eat tiny meals together :)
  • What a great post! I don't know how I missed this one! I'm so glad I found it now. LOL You are so funny. =) Lots to think about.
  • Diana, so cool to see you here. Thanks for the read and the words. I bet your Time Machine Tweets would have been fab.
  • henie
    Hahaha! What I can't believe is you had to "google" him??? Am I the only one left who knows about "The Partridge Family? Oh my, I really did need this time machine of yours! :~)




    [ fixed it ;-) ]-ct
  • My neighbor, a wiser woman than I, liked Rick Springfield and Rob Lowe. I had a thing for Wallace Shawn and David Lynch. I read all of Shawn's plays and saved money to buy Eraserhead, watched it a few dozen times. So don't mind me, I'm a little bent.
  • henie
    hahaha! All I can say is thank you for making me feel like a "relic" in this time machine of yours! Brilliant, as always! :~)

    PS...pls fix previous typos :~)
  • Fixed it, actually did before in my dashboard, but it didn't "take"... fixing a comment ...notice how it says [edited by moderator] & that seems to imply you did something cuh-razy and I had to remove it...ha... And you're not a relic.
  • This could be interesting:

    - "OMG!!! I just milked myself for the first time." #soproud

    - "Awesome - a new episode of 'C.H.I.P.S' is on tonight. Hope I can stay up to watch it"

    - "I tried telling mummy I was not crying watching 'Watership Down' - I just had something in my eye" #imtellingthetruth
  • Ummmm... I'm not sure about the first tweet... oh my god.
    Hey which C.H.I.P. did you like best? I thought Ponch was pretty cool... he reminded me of Starsky from that other cop show. Bad asses. They don't make 'em like that anymore, eh? heh.
  • Oh Ponch for sure. You're right though, they dont make them like that anymore.
  • Ponch FTW
  • Oh no! Do I really have to go back in time? I feel like Stephan getting ready to go turn back into Urkel. Throughout Elementary school my tweets would have probably have been something like...

    - I lost my favourite slammer today playing with pogs
    - Found my walkman Listening to Puff Daddy and Ma$e before the bus comes

    Then Junior High would've been....

    - Well, they didn't feel even a little bit like melons
    - Found my Discman Listening to P.diddy before the bus comes

    High School

    - I just drove the rents car into the bushes..Should I tell them or just go 2 the car wash? Car wash wins.
    - WTF, now its just Diddy? Seriously...I don't care if you invented the remix!
  • Ross, you had to go there and bring up Urkel? I should of known you'd rip my comment section a new one. Haha! Good Time Machine Tweets man. Pogs, melons, puff daddies... I hope you got away with your parental car in the bushes crash.
  • As a teenager, I am sure I would have been quite immature and just asked girls for photos of their boobs and bums.
  • Bortacious one, aren't you tweeting that out right now? You slay me! I'd of still been favoriting your tweets even back when we were teenage idiots. Keep coming here, you slay me... oops I mentioned that already.
  • I broke my fall from slipping off a fire hydrant, when I was 8, by hitting my tail bone on one of the valves. I ran into the house screaming for my mom and yelling: "Mommy! Mommyyyyy!!!! I broke my pee-pee!"

    Granted, it was my ass that hurt, but when you're 8, you don't know how many holes you've got. And yes, that's what I would have tweeted, 'cept replace "pee-pee" with "twatter."
  • *** I removed the previous comment... but seeing you TWICE was cool... ;-) ***
  • TECHBABE!

    Um, standing on a fire hydrant? Girl you were/are daring. I'm glad to know your "pee pee" recovered,
    at least that's what I figure from some of your modern day tweets. Heh heh

    I'd of followed you on the Twitter Time Machine.
  • alexstandiford
    What a concept. I probably would have posted

    "Playing DoomII - does anyone wanna play with me?"
  • Alex, you gamer,
    Wahaha... I'd of @'d you the following:

    "Dude! What's your deal? BTW, what is DoomII?"

    ;-)
  • Hahaha... awesome post as usual. I need to take writing lessons from you.
  • No writing lessons from me... Just drink a lot of coffee, forget everything on your To-Do List, accidentally leave your cell on mute and pretend you'll pick up groceries until your roomie does it for you. That's the key to my writing. Take it... no real schooling needed... Thank you Clement. Your appearance are always welcomed.
  • Slickriptide
    @InsecureDouche That girl in my seat in math sat on my lap after I joked to "get out of my chair, wench". I wish I knew if she liked me...

    @InsecureDouche Oh God, not Air Supply again...

    @InsecureDouche Being responsible and working tonight is much more important than going to the Senior Party, right?

    @InsecureDouche Dance? Pfft. I've got Dungeons and Dragons tonight and I've made up a whole new critical hit table to use on my players.

    It's a wonder I ever finally got laid...
  • Hello Slick, That girl sitting on your lap probably thought you were a cutie.
    Air Supply probably made that lap sitter go wild... That band slays...ug.
    "The senior party" -I missed out on that one... I do remember as a freshman the seniors threw pennies at us and I forget why. I imgaine it was a longstanding tradition set-up by the History teacher to make us interested in Abe Lincoln.

    Glad you finally experienced "romance" with the ladies, regardless of your Twitter Time Machine debacles.
    HAHA, love your comment.
  • "vodka tastes like rubbing alcohol" - me age 15.
  • At least you waited until age 15 to imbibe. I envy you. And wow, it sure does stink of rubbing alcohol.
  • Very cool post, Tina. Always imaginative, ever engaging. Agree with Jeanne, you are the Queen of graphics.

    Me as Teen: Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Hate.

    xoxo
  • Karen, sounds like you & I would have been best friends as teens... Let's catch up on the years we've missed and get to best friending right now.

    Gracias for props on my graphics. Heh
  • elysabethwilliams
    Awesome post!!
    :D

    From my early teens, mine would have been full of fantastic lyrics from goth songs. Such profound things came out of Siouxie Sioux's and Dave Vanian's mouth..... oh, and about boys; loads and loads of them.
    Late teens would have been about weird games in the woods with foam swords... heh..
    In my early 20's it would have looked like something related to 'Texts from Last Night.'
  • Goth songs cranked out all day and night... Niiiiice. Foam swords? You were living a good life.
    Although the "texts" from last night might have too much for my virgin eyes.
  • laineyd7
    That cute Twitter bird looks so befuddled at his appearance in the cockpit of the Time Machine! And Tina - you were an adorable baby! I was such a goody two shoes as a kid I'd only be tweeting about how boys smell funny and I can't wait to watch the Partridge Family, The Monkees, or Dark Shadows on TV, depending.

    I love this article...Twitter is a game-changer in a huge way. People airing their dirty laundry here and there (I'm not talking about Roger's sheets), and SO MUCH interesting, helpful, funny, thought-provoking conversation that would never have been possible before 2006.
  • Yeah, what is up with that Twitter bird? He seems reluctant to use that machine. Maybe the Fail Whale knows how to work the gadget better than he does?

    Boys smell funny! ha... I replied about that above... looks like all of us girls noticed their smelliness.
    Wonder what it was all about? Did their mothers allow them to go bathless so they'd learn how to be a man?
    P.U.

    I agree hon that Twitter is a new breed of social networking. Vastly different from the other sites.
    But Roger's sheets ... that'd have to be a whole 'nother blog!

    Stop by often :)
  • henie
    I probably would have tweeted something like: "I have such a crush on David Cassidy and I LOVE him!" :~)
  • I Googled him, he's a hunk. VavavaVooom... You were a flirt even at that age. :)
  • On the playground; it's recess. She kicked me in the shins. I pulled her pigtails. We're in love...
  • That is true love, right there, for certain!!
  • If only Twitter was around before GWBco took over. Perhaps, collectively we could have saved the World from him/them. My tweet from 1998, which I actually said out loud to all who listened: If GWB is put into power, I fear for America and the World.

    When I was 18, the drinking age was 18. So my tweet would have read: Kegger at X's. Make the scene, don't make a scene. Cool. MORE BEER (oh, wait. Time warp. Warped machine? I still tweet like this.)

    Or, when I was 16: Oh fuck, my mother just killed herself. Why? My life just turned to shit. What am I going to do now?

    When I was 15: Mike, what did you do to me?
    At 14: Boy crazy! I love my new bicycle. My softball team won another game. My new navy pin corduroy pants and desert boots look cool. I love music.
    At 13: You mean this bleeding will last until who the fuck knows when? I want my Mommy!

    At 1: Finally, I can walk! Who will I meet? Let's go.

    I could go on: Oh Tina, You amuse and entertain me so. Tweet you in 2010.
  • Eeeeew, that whole change from girl into woman... icky. I'd probably be far too depressed to tweet about it. Ha. I'd brag about being able to walk for months... Maybe even a whole year!
  • Can't imagine what my life would have been like if status updates existed when I was a kid. I would have been totally embarrassed to read all of my whiny complaints later on!

    As a eight year old: "Reading a new Babysitters Club book. This one's not as good as the one I read last week."

    A few years later: "Why won't my mom let me wear makeup? I bet she wore makeup when she was my age!"

    As a teenager: "Gah my dad bought me the ugliest car ever. He must totally hate me."

    Senior year: "Can't decide what to major in. Plus Mom won't get off my case about applying for scholarships!"
  • Jeanne, haha, I think I'd be embarrassed of my kid status updates too.

    Love this "tweet'
    [A few years later: "Why won't my mom let me wear makeup? I bet she wore makeup when she was my age!"]

    Of course your mom would be seeing your whole feed and you'd be sent to the corner for 'time out'.
    Twitter Time Machine Time Out!

    You got a car from your pops? Oh God, I'm so jealous... I'd unfollow you right then, because I'd be hopping mad over your fortune :)

    Thanks girly!
  • Okay... here's me at 15... and here's me now.

    MASTERREY
    Wow, that Filipino girl is so fine!

    TheNoLookPass
    What? Don't torture me with Filipino women!

    MASTERREY
    I totally need to beat this game before my brother!

    TheNoLookPass
    I have to write this piece for TNLP tonight.

    MASTERREY
    How come they blocked this exit?! I have to find another way to ditch school!

    TheNoLookPass
    Who'd be stupid enough to TWEET while they're ditching school? STUPID.

    MASTERREY
    Gosh. How am I going to get this girl??

    TheNoLookPass
    Whatever. These girls love me. By the way, @CTK1... I know you want me.

    MASTERREY
    I can't stand the fact that my brother is singing. I'm so tired of it.

    TheNoLookPass
    CHERISH. GIVE ME FAITH. GIVE ME JOY. MY BOY! I WILL ALWAYS CHERISH YOU!
  • Rey&Rey, pleasure to have you back.
    You were super suave and debonair at 15! Hot dayum!
    hahaha, My fave is:
    ----
    MASTERREY
    How come they blocked this exit?! I have to find another way to ditch school!

    TheNoLookPass
    Who'd be stupid enough to TWEET while they're ditching school? STUPID.

    -----

    I'd break in on that thread...

    "WTF @MASTERREY, you're dummy head city! @TheNoLookPass that guy is ruining it 4 the rest of us!"
  • _ms_understood
    Okay, I definitely would have been all over twitter... but would have tweeted such things as:
    3rd Grade "I don't understand this math... why does the teacher hate meeeeeee!"
    5th Grade "Joel Matson kissed me behind the garage on a dare.... #OMG!"
    and then in high school:
    "I don't understand the big deal about boys. They don't know anything and they just want to touch me. *sigh*"

    ... oh wait. That's what I tweet about now...
  • Victoria, welcome to the Time Machine!
    Your tweets are giving me the giggle goodness!
    I'd follow you instantly and get deep into @ replies regarding the boys.
    Yeah, what's the biggie?

    "Boys don't even smell good and they have hairy faces. SO GROSS!"
    But now I'm all,
    "Wow, boys smell so good and I love all that sexy man hair on their man faces."

    I guess we've all evolved, sort of...
    I want to hear more about 5th grade... woah, you floozy. That fella was bold.A Back of the Garage Gigalo.
    If I recall correctly I got my first kiss from a cute little blond fella named Jimmy. He was shy and I was shyer.
    He pecked my lips then ran away scared. Afterward we never talked again because I wasn't the type to be tied down to just one run-a-way kisser. Even though I didn't smooch another one for years after.

    Stoooopid Boys. Pffffffft
  • jeannevb
    You are the QUEEN of cool graphics, Tina!
    xoxoxo
  • Jeanne, ma' dear...

    I'm a sweatshop worker for photoshop. Buried in my dark office toiling away for no apparent reason and very little cash. When I say cash, that means, no money. Maybe I'd tweet out about ...

    "Hey, let's say cash but mean no money! Like cash=no cash! Want to? OMG, so cool! DM me!"

    Lame. It's good to know that we can be lame now just as we would have been many dusty years ago!
  • jeannevb
    FANTASTIC post, Tina! I ran away a lot too, Rog... so I'll stick to the college years:

    OMG! Just heard a SEXED up song SEXUAL HEALING!? is that ALLOWED on the radio? #censorshipgonewrong #thankgod #lovemesomeMarvin

    Met a boy in the bar... so cute... should I be concerned about his Members Only jacket? #thatsnotgayisit #walkofshame

    My mom just called my dorm room... sounded like she said "aids" and condoms... she wants to aid me with condoms? No idea what she's talking about #paranoidoldwoman #watchestoomuch60minutes

    Home for Thanksgiving break. Shoot me now. #parentsboring #curfew #aretheyHIGH
  • You'd be ripping Twitter a new one with your Sexual Healing tweets. That aids and condoms tweet mighta'got you unfollowed, but only by a bunch of losers who you didn't even know were following you. I wonder if our tweets would have met up at that time. You'd probably get a bit bored by my training bra news!

    Hey Jeanne, thanks for breaking curfew with me! Always appreciated ;-)
  • Yes, I have to concur. In my case, "back in the day", the Twitter character limit coincided with the number of letters you could type before having to hit the carriage return. My tweets were banal, rhymed too often, and were peppered with too many adverbs. I remember how excited I would get whenever a cute girl started following me, and the inevitable let-down when I soon after discovered her DM's were only trying to get me to buy "the new acne cream your pharmacist doesn't want you to know about." Mostly, I recall the angst of waiting for someone - anyone - to reply to my tweets. Re-tweets were exceedingly rare, unless I included return postage.
  • You would be tweeting via abacus or typewriter, eh? Ha... Clever discourse you got going on up there David Weedmark. Which of the 21 Twitter personalities are you exhibiting?

    All that old school angst you mention is reminding me of the dark days too... Remember 'friendster'?
    I didn't like anybody well enough to friendster them. I felt like a pariah. Took awhile before I realized
    I could use this social networking business as a way to harass the masses w/my unfunny hilarity.
    Ever since, I haven't looked back. Only forward to the next new site that drains my energy but allows me to cause trouble while wearing pajamas with mystery food stains on them.

    Thanks for the funny comments... As per usual, you keep this joint hoppin'!
  • My tweet stream undoubtedly would have looked something like this...

    justanotherlori: OMG. Old people SUCK. Can't they just be cooler?
    justanotherlori: My parents don't know ANYTHING.
    justanotherlori: That's it. I'm moving away and never coming back to this HELL!

    Of course, now that I'm old, I look at tweets like that and get stabby... Ah, to be young again.
  • Lori, great stream. I'd be happy to see those tweets in my feed. Come to think of it, I don't have anyone I follow who discusses their parents from the teen's eye view. Obviously only because everyone is all adultish.
    I'd crack my ass up if I could go back in the Time Machine via present day Twitter by following a bunch of kids and listening to their parental and school rants!

    Maybe we should have one day a month that we crank out tweets like yours above... Killer!
  • Haha! Great piece.

    First off, I wasn't @iamkhayyam back then, it would have been more like @brownkidwhothinkshesblack. So I would have tweeted out such things as:

    @brownkidwhothinkshesblack Maan! I got the new Father MC track on single cassette. Can't wait to jam it in my #walkman

    @brownkidwhothinkshesblack Practicing my Scoob and Scrap Lover moves from Big Daddy Kane's track that I saw on Friday Night Videos #gnarly

    @brownkidwhothinkshesblack How come I'm the only person 'of color' in my class?!

    @brownkidwhothinkshesblack Why the fuck do you people put mayonnaise on everything?! #stuffwhitepeoplelike

    @brownkidwhothinkshesblack #whatsinmywalkmenrightnow "Time to get paid, blow up like the World Trade" #BiggieSmalls

    Something to that effect.

    @brownkidwhothinkshesblack Santa Maria! My bedazzler just busted!! How am I going to finish putting rhinestones in my #NYJets hat?! #ifitdontmakedollasitdontmakesense
  • Brown Kid Who Thinks He's Black? What? I call myself brown... Dammit, even being brown has rigid distinction. For the record Khayyam I think of you as green because you're grounded and blue when you're not. When you turn blue I still enjoy watching you fly, up up in that sky, unless I'm blue at the same time. Green is of course coming from the soil, the soil is brown... looks like either way, you might be brown... what's black? Darkness? I don't like the term "black".

    Aw shit, I'm veering off on my own thang instead of actually replying to your Time Machine Tweets.
    Hold on... All right, I'm ready.

    Love the mayonnaise. Put rhinestones in that mayo, baby!


    ALSO, it must be hellacious to be the only or one of the only non pearly whites. I experienced a bit of that myself.
  • I'm with Joni. I'm glad Twitter wasn't around then. Truth is, I doubt I would have bothered with an account. Too much to do, too many people to see, too many classes to complain about, too many parties to attend, and too many shenanigans to be in the middle of . . .
  • I'm happy that Twitter hadn't reared it's ugly head yet too... Life was golden away from the interwebs.
    Not that life sucks now, but I do have nostalgia for the days of carefree hours spent with pals instead of trying to catch them on the cell or via email, etc, etc... I hear ya Debbie, IRL should make a comeback!
  • Why do I have to dance like @JohnTravolta and wear these weird clothes?
    Why oh why did they cancel @WKRPinCincinnatti?
    I am scared of that @RalphNader
    When is @JimmyCarter going to save all of those @HostagesInIran?
    A cowboy actor @RonaldReagan? Okay I will try anything once :)
  • Funny tweets, my friend. I wonder if I would have followed you back then? ;-)
    I'm sure I'd like to @ replies you re: that Monster of the Universe Reagan.
    I was pretty young but I remember living a nice life when all of sudden things got hairy and my family started to dismantle. Thanks Reagan... I saw this happen to many. Family values? My ass. Trickle down? Indeed. His piss on all citizens was and is legendary.
  • Nsedef
    As a gullible fifth-grader...

    "Can't believe I'm standing in rain w/orange belt while brother & sister get ride to school. Ready to quit this crossing guard gig."

    Back then, I somehow didn't mind it. Today, I'd be wondering where child labor laws are when you need 'em. btw tina: your baby and toddler pics are adorable. what were you, 2yo in middle pic?
  • You worked in a sweatshop as a child? This is new news and my heart sinks! They worked your tiny fingers into fleshy threads that bled for days on end until you were left with nothing but nubs. Shard bones. Your youth has been stolen from you... You're like a child star. Britney experienced this as well :(

    I'm so sorry Sedef.
  • fjfonseca
    Apparently there is something about sheep that my parents don't want me to know.
  • LOL!
  • O and M and G! Outrageous!!!!
  • "My new school trousers are flares again. I want drainpipe pants, dammit! My mum obviously does not love me!"
  • Heh, bell bottom King! Your mom was vicious!
  • Every year it was the same. Looking for someone with flarier (sp) pants than me to take the flak. Generally I was Capt. Bell Bottom, though. I have trouser issues to this day.
  • Well if we're doing full disclosure here I'll reveal that my mother forced me to wear purple polyester pants.
    As youc an imagine no one else wore purple, let alone polyester pants. I wore them twice a week. It's no wonder I became the class clown. I had to tell jokes and make people laugh at ANYTHING other than my dumb ugly pants.

    So hey, I feel your pain. Maybe we should start a support group?
  • jonikennedy
    Omg! I think I'm relieved twitter wasnt around when I was younger. My tweets would have been primarily about boys. Which boys I thought were cute, who I had a crush on & if I had a boyfriend,I'd be tweeting about our fights.Once I got into high school I wasnt as boy crazy so my posts would have ranged from complaining about classes to when I tried my 1st beer. Have I said I'm relieved twitter wasnt around then? *wipes forehead*
  • *wipes forehead*

    ;)
  • I hear you loud and clear! Ha. Mine would probably go like this...

    ME: My boyfriend @Boyfriend, is a jerk!

    HIM: Um yeah @CTK1 you're the jerk!

    ME: @Boyfriend Screw you, you jerk!

    HIM: Hey @CTK1 I'm blocking you!

    ME: Whatever @Boyfriend, who cares, I blocked you first!

    [Two Hours Later]

    Him: @CTK1 Want to go to the movies?

    ME: @Boyfriend Yeah! Cool, just let me ask my mom first!
  • When I was 10 years old I found out I wasn't the center of the universe, would have tweeted -

    "Tied sheets together-crawled out window & ran away from home. After several hours got hungry & came home. They never knew I was gone! LOL!"
  • By the way, I love your Twitter Time Machine graphic!
  • That Twitter Bird sure gets around on ctkingston.com... Poor bastard!
    Thanks Roger. I'm startled to know your parents had no idea you pulled such a rebel maneuver.
    I should have been so lucky ;-)
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