Step Into The Twitter Time Machine
Feb 14th
I had a thought today — yes sometimes it accidentally happens. That thought was about Twitter. What would I have tweeted if Twitter was around well before 2006, up and running by the time I learned to walk and talk and ask “Why? Why? Why?” Asked over and over because that is what kids do, as soon as they learn it’s a powerful question forcing their parents into speaking to them. #Cool
All right, so, my noggin’ was havin’ all kinda thoughts about my own personal Twitter Time Machine. There have already been a bevy of articles written re: “What if Twitter had been around [fill in the blank]. But all I’ve ever seen of these pieces focuses on a historical/ famous figure’s possible tweet out. Sure, Mark Twain was awesome, but c’mon, I’m way more interested in what you would have said, back in the day.
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Keywords: Passive Aggressive
Jan 13th
I’m angry. I’m furious. I’m fed up and don’t wanna take it anymore. Currently still taking it though, regardless of vehemence and bafflement. Over the past year I’ve been meeting people who act like they’re kind, attentive, thoughtful and in-tune with me. As soon as I open up, a little, they flip the switch. Suddenly the connection stretches until it’s so thin it could snap at any moment, or at least I could. SNAP. Next I’m left wondering if I should do the same, act a fool. And if I don’t then I’m allowing someone to jerk me around.
.
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If I return the tardation then I’m playing games and I don’t want to do that. I especially don’t want to be forced into it simply because I genuinely want to keep up the contact. But what to do?
I want the flower back, the blooming relationship that got me into the friendship garden in the first place. I’ve expressed this to them. But it’s like telling an alcoholic they’re drunk. They stumble out a rebuttal that slurs into a lie smelling of vodka puke. I feel it’s sorta the same with passive/aggressive people. Attempt to let them know their behavior swings like a pendulum and they claim it’s you, that you’ve got it all wrong. Some may even go the extra mile and claim you’re psychotic. “Oh God, another crazy chick full of drama.” I didn’t create the theater. They wrote, produced and directed the entire 3-act play and expect you to pay for a ticket. All the while claiming they don’t even like plays.
Meanwhile you’re simply trying to get a fair shake and hope they stop the split personality so you can still like them and one day relax without wondering when the next u-turn will take place. Hoping you’re not standing in the middle of the road when it happens.
I have to back up, I have no idea how to deal with these people. They perplex me beyond belief.
I’m a very direct, upfront person and always have been. I know what I want, what I need.
I know who I am. I know my failings and my good traits. Sometimes the bad outweighs the good and when that happens, I apologize. I haven’t a clue how I became a magnet for these passive/aggressives? The entirety of 2009 they came out of the woodwork in droves. Mostly via social networking sites but a couple of them somehow found me IRL buried in a crowd.
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Maybe I should stop bathing and stink them far away from me, but I imagine there’s a better option.
————————————-Searching for feedback—
How do you deal with these people? We’ve all met them. Please don’t say, just get away from them. That’s not “dealing” with a person, that’s just leaving. Leaving is easy… but I can’t up and leave everyone just because they’re off kilter or I’d have to leave myself as well. Tell me what you’ve done in this situation, with these Jekyll and Hyde characters. Tell me what it is these days that’s pissing YOU off… what is it? I bet it sucks as bad as passive/aggressiveness!
Top 13 One-Night Stands of 2009
Dec 8th
As we’re hurtling towards 2010, many of us are whiplashed, looking back and wondering what the hell happened. A lot of nothing took place and out of that void came a profound thud, still reverberating throughout the virtual tubes and tunnels of our collective consciousness. Sure there were also worthwhile events happening at some point, though they’ve become hard to remember. And why bother? It’s the unworthy crap, junk and stuff that’s most fun!
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To that end, I’ve gathered 13 very tuned-in people to pick the burning hot moments in pop culture and the social media memes whose instant attraction wore off almost before the morning after… But like any bad lay, it could come back to haunt you. So without further foreplay, here’s the top 13…
13.) Tiger’s Wood
@ShellyKramerYou used to be a Tiger, now you’re a Cheetah. And a dumbass. You were the world’s shining star. Gifted athlete, intelligent, well-spoken and charming. Zealous about guarding your family and your privacy. Personification of all things good, wholesome, talented and real. Purportedly. We’ve been watching you since you were a boy, applauding your victories and your impressive journey into adulthood, marriage and, ultimately, fatherhood. And now, sadly, we’ve watched you hit your whole life right into the sand trap. And this isn’t just another tourney, Cheetah. This is the real deal. Life, wife, babies, fame, fortune, adulation, temptations, choices. We’re already tired of hearing about this mess you’ve gotten yourself into. And, in our minds, you’re no longer Tiger, you’re simply Cheetah. Way to go. Need someone to hang with, maybe A-Rod’s free.
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12.) Life Is Unfair and Death Is Un-Farrah
@ArjunBasuFarrah Fawcett died on the same day as Michael Jackson. June 25th. Talk about your bad timing. Fawcett had suffered terribly with anal cancer. Yes, you read that right. She had cancer of the ass! And if that wasn’t bad enough, her son was in jail when she died. He’s a drug addict or something, but really who can keep up with who’s addicted to what? But dying on the only possibly day when even something like a giant hole opening and sucking up all of Tokyo would have been page 2 news, that takes a special kind of celebrity. An-I-don’t-care-anymore-kind-of-Calgon-take-me-away-celebrity. At the very least, Farrah needed to fire her agent. And her publicist. And maybe die on June 24th.
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What Do Your Passwords Reveal About You?
Nov 21st
If you’re the type to use the same password for every site, I hope it’s a difficult one.
Something super hard to figure out, like: QRTxxxv2569286v~!*
That’d make people think you were deep, complicated and had a memory of steel.
Or, um, is it more like: Your First Name + Birth Year? – Sue1985 or Fred1946 – perhaps?
That would leave everyone imagining you were a simpleton, but a dolt with nothing to hide.
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Don’t Quote Me On That
Nov 5th
You know the quote that goes around all the time on social networking sites? You know, this one:
“Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like it’s heaven on Earth.” –Mark Twain
I’ve never done any of those things, have you? I dance like the world is dancing against me. Sing to annoy and you better listen! Love like passion is pummeling me and live like tomorrow is heaven. Unfortunately for me, since tomorrow soon becomes today, I wind up having to wait yet another 24 hours for heaven and so on… One day maybe I’ll get ahead of myself. Overall though, I’m quite happy, in so much as, heck, life is good, mostly.
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