What I’m offering here is a way to make interaction on Facebook an easier and more fulfilling experience. Emphasis on easier. Many of us have a deep desire to reply to wall posts, but have zero time between our tweets, emails and text messaging to ever make it a reality.
I will need each and every one of you to contact Mark Zuckerberg ASAP in order to get this Frisbee flying.

In a nutshell, my proposal to streamline your FB experience includes a state-of-the-art pull down menu which offers instant access to pre-written comments from whatever comment category suits your personality or mood. With the click of a button you can go from being the quiet “lurker” to becoming an “active participant,” or even “life of the party.” The magic of this system is in how it maintains your necessary personal space while simultaneously injecting you into the community.

For starters, we already have the “like” button, a great invention, but the LOL, OMG and WTF buttons are desperately needed as well and thus have been added.

Below that, comes the innovative new pull down menu:

From the categories above you can select which type of Facebook footprint you’d like to leave. And of course the standard reply area allowing you to deposit your own unique comment, remains available. Over time it may be best to discontinue that feature. For now let’s pull down our comment choices and select: General.
After carefully choosing your sentiment, you simply click the box beside it, tadam, then push the regular “comment” button for finalization. Right now, with all the clickings and buttons, this may sound like something you need two years of college to figure out, but soon it’ll become second nature. During the learning phase it’s advisable you get very familiar with:

• The Randomize Button – spontaneously picks randomly from any category. It keeps you delightfully unaware of what wonderful thing you’ll say to your friends.
OR
• The Panic Button – aborts the entire page visit and instantly reverts you to your own image gallery as a reminder of who you are. Breathe in. Breathe out. Everything is okay.

As stated these are quick solutions to participating in the growth of your online community.
The other category choices are what we call niche replies and are as follows:

The Humor Comment Category features laughs so hard you think you’ll die:
“Knock Knock who’s there? Haha, Facebook doesn’t even have doors. lol”
and a lengthy archive of Yo Mama jokes.

The Sexy Comment Category includes fresh flirtations such as:
“Oh baby, you’re the chocolate to my strawberry.” and true classics like
“I love how you make me feel.” and “You have beautiful eyes.”

The Stalker Comment Category submits a blank comment unseen by anyone, but after selecting this option you will receive notices of everyone else’s comments which helps keep you informed without revealing you’ve ever been there.

The Intelligent comment category has been pulled from the proposal due to budget. It featured famous quotes from all your favorite dead guys, as well as entries utilizing a creative sampling of 8 syllable words normally only uttered by med students. If you want this returned to the pull down menu, articulate your needs to Zuckerberg.

And if you like my proposal to streamline Facebook interaction, please share it. The share buttons are below. Together we can change the “face” of social networking. Stand with me! The harder we stand, the easier it’ll be to sit back down.

Share your thoughts in the comment section below.


Thirsty for more social networking? Ooooh, feels good. Here’s a few of my other posts on the topic.
Is The Internet Saving Your Life ?
Facebook Condones Child Butt Rubbing
Are You Online Right Now? *a guest post for Danny Brown*
Meat is Murder on a Facebook Friendship
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